


Blue death

by HappyUranus



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Feels, Gen, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Langst, Pain, Self Harm, Suicide, all the langst, but not too sorry, like major langst, so sorry lance, voltron angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-29 10:00:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15070739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HappyUranus/pseuds/HappyUranus
Summary: Death was always a topic in Lance’s mind. It never disappeared, it just stood there, lingering in the corner just enough so that he could see it. On bad days it would step closer. Welcoming him into its dark, loving embrace. Wrapping its cold hands around his neck as he gasped for a whisper of air.





	Blue death

**Author's Note:**

> WARNINGS : self harm, suicide, BAD thoughts... don’t read if you don’t enjoy this stuff
> 
> Hope ya like it!!

Death was always a topic in Lance’s mind. It never disappeared, it just stood there, lingering in the corner just enough so that he could see it. On bad days it would step closer. Welcoming him into its dark, loving embrace. Wrapping its cold hands around his neck as he gasped for a whisper of air. 

But sometimes on better days, Lancewould think about his family. How he wouldn’t be able to see all their faces again, or how much grief they would be in. Then it would just slink back into its corner, but not without making sure he plastered a smile on his face, just so that no one would know. So that no one would stop him when the time had come. Too bad today was a bad day.

Once in a while if he was feeling brave, he would give hints. Just the occasional times where he said ‘I want to die’ or ‘I don’t want to live anymore’ in front of his friends. All he got back were ‘Stop overreacting’ or ‘Stop whining about your problems’. That made it even worse. Because they were right. There’s nothing wrong with telling the truth. 

After all, he just a waste of time. He was worth nothing to them so why should he bother them anymore? What he was, was a pathetic little coward who was too scared to confront the truth. It would be all better if he just went away, wouldn’t it? Why couldn’t they understand that he wasn’t joking. Oh, right, just because he was their friend doesn’t mean that they were his. He just got ahead of himself again. Just because he hung out and talked with them didn’t mean that they were his friends. He should just leave. He should just…..Die. No one to bother them anymore. No more “overreacting goofball” there to mess up their day. It would benefit everyone wouldn’t it? No one would miss him. They probably wouldn’t even realise that he was gone.  
——-  
His bed creaked as he slowly raised his head when he heard a knock on his wooden door.  
“Hey… You okay? You didn’t come to school today,” he paused before leaning his head on the door. “You know that we’re here for you right? We’re all out here, Pidge, Hunk and I. Just come out when your ready, promise?” The voice outside the door beckoned softly. He brought his hands up to scrub away the tears. Ha, as if they cared. They were just out there for pity and they knew it. So that when he died they could say that they helped.  
“I’m fine Keith” He croaked out, voice hoarse from all the previous crying.  
“Okay, just come out when you need to, alright? I left food in front of your door.” He laid back down on his bed and curled up into a small ball. Lies. The only reason they were here was probably because Shiro forced them to. They were probably just baiting him so that when he went out to check, they could drag him out and gloat to him. After all, no one cared for him. He was just an annoying speck of dust, bothering people. 

Death just loved whispering his words into his ear loud and clear, making sure he heard every single word. He knew they were a bad sign and that he should get counseling but he couldn't help but agree to them. Irritating, disturbing, troublesome. All of these words fit him perfectly. Worthless, unimportant, useless. These types of words are the only ones that would be able to describe him. ‘Go away, I’m busy’ was what his mother wanted to say. ‘Don’t you know how to shut up?’ Is what his classmates always scream. ‘Why’d you have to come here?’ All he does is distract anyone around him. Miserable, insignificant, unpurposed. He tucked his knees in. Empty, delusive, lacking. He tugged at his hair. Cheap, petty, dumb. He started rocking back and forth. Good for nothing. Waste of time. He choked on his own tears as he stumbled into the bathroom. Gasping for air, his fingers fumbled for the only thing that could relieve him of his pain. He clattered around the bathroom sink, knocking bottles of face wash and makeup off the counter until he found what he was looking for, his dear precious razor. He gripped it so hard that his hands started dripping, making crimson dots on the tiled floor. No, no, he didn’t want to wear gloves, long sleeves were enough. He yelped as he tripped over one of the bottles that were strewn across the floor and tumbled into the bathtub.  
“Lance! What happened? Are you okay?” Keith shouted as he pounded on the wooden door, voice laced with worry. Jay cried out loud as pain made sight sight dizzy. “Lance! Answer me! Let me in!” Shakely, he lifted himself up to sit upright and positioned his razor on the insides of his arms. Stupid, Strike. Dumb, Strike. Idiot, Strike. “Lance! I’m getting Hunk to break down the door!” His hand wouldn’t stop moving. The pain wasn’t going away. He needed more. It wasn’t enough. It was never enough. 

He watched with dazed eyes as dark, red beads of blood slid down his arm, old scars mixing with the new ones. Loud thuds echoed throughout the house as Hunk repeatedly slammed all his weight on the wooden door, before finally making the hinges fall off. Keith rushed into the bathroom followed by the rest of his small group of friends. Stupid, how could he let them see him like this. Tears rolled down his face as he hid his face with his scarred arms and braced for their disapproving stares. “Lance, what have you done,” Keith choked out in a pained voice as he got down to his knees. “You’re going to be okay, you’re being to be okay.” He felt his sight slowly giving out when he felt a pair of hands shake his shoulders. “Lance!-Don’t-Ambu-.” Warmth engulfed his back when he felt arms wrap around him. “Hunk!-Help-Hurr-“ The pain was going. The pain was finally going.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic on here so.... feel free to comment!! (Pls)


End file.
